dominique012: ([house] no good)
dominique012 ([personal profile] dominique012) wrote2008-05-10 12:24 am
Entry tags:

house fic: In between [1/1]

Rating: G
Words: 1046
Spoilers: Does S1 still count? *g* 1x19 Kids, 1x20 Love Hurts
Summary: Cameron's thoughts following some pivotal moments with House, and an AU part just for fun.
Notes:
+ Written for the ficathon at [profile] with_meaning Prompt: dubiety: the condition or quality of being doubtful; also, a matter of doubt.
+ House fic and me don't get along great at the moment, but here I am! I think it's a little different from my usual. I hope you enjoy.
+ For [livejournal.com profile] lookatmoiye7. ♥ For keeping me going and for her general awesomeness *g*



1.
She left him in the hallway and stared blankly at the smooth white door, fingertips on the handle. Her eyes slowly closed.

She wasn't uneasy about forcing him to take her out. Not wondering why she'd said it like that, like a dare, or some punishment to be weasled out of.

It was the look on his face. She frowned. Wide, startled eyes. Mouth open. Nothing brilliant or callous or curious or scathing about him.

She refocused on the door. Just…open.

He looked so open. She could still see it so clearly. Like a different man.

Confused. Vulnerable. Stunned. That she'd said what she wanted? (He'd known what that was.) That he'd have to offer so little?

She exhaled, the memory of his (damn) eyes stuck in her mind.

The triumph she'd felt, with his warm hand enclosing hers, unfurled in her stomach into something more like doubt.

2.
He hadn't wanted Chase or Foreman to know. (A bad sign? Like she needed one. Not-so-subtle hints of dubiety assail her: badidea badidea badidea)

But she needed it, like a photograph, a blood test, a signature. It was the chance to just confirm it with someone else.

And again, when she asked him what to wear. As if it really mattered. As if he'd take her to the opera, or a sporting event. She smiled wryly (a monster truck rally). But she still had to ask him.

This is happening, right?

Half-expecting him to scoff and tell her to share whatever drugs was she was obviously taking. But instead he'd mentioned paint ball and spandex, which incredibly, had been a relief.

She nodded once to herself. Café Spiletto. Right.

3.
You don’t love, you need. And now that your husband is dead, you’re looking for your new charity case…What I am is what you need. I’m damaged.

She looked down. The adrenaline that had been holding her upright since they arrived seemed to slither right through her.

He'd stopped talking, and it was like dinner was over, although they hadn't yet ordered.

He'd complimented her on her earrings and shoes; words that from anyone else marked the beginning of something. From House they were…ominous.

She heard herself babbling about Freud. How there was nothing he could do to convince her he didn't like her. He was doing a pretty good job. And that open look was gone.

There was no doubt in her now. She just felt hollow.


4.
She unlocked the door, the unpinned corsage already a little crushed in her hand. She put it on the table, her arm like a lump of lead.

Looking around the apartment, she saw the remnants of date preparation: her initial choice of shoes lay near the couch, her other bag. Her silver hair clip. It seemed kind of amusing now to think she'd been getting ready for, anticipating, hoping for a date.

She wondered now, baffled, how her other self, the self from 2 hours ago, had thought it would play out. What would House do? Open up and honestly tell her, during time she was forcing him to spend with her, how much he really, actually did like her?

She rubbed her brow, grimacing at the tired feeling that suddenly washed through her.

Her gaze fell back to the corsage. It bothered her. A beautiful, squashed little flower with a pin. Lovely, but totally unnecessary. Above and beyond the terms of the deal.

It mocked her, as she recalled the things he'd said to her. He didn't like her. Didn't believe in the feelings she had for him.

She moved to throw it in the trash, but just ended up standing awkwardly, her hand outstretched.

5.
His voice rasped close to her ear. "You realize you're on all fours, in the dark, in my office."

She sighed, vaguely making out the leg of the desk, and the blinds.

He continued, "I guess it's not what you imagined. I didn't bring any flowers this time."

She rolled her eyes in the dark. "House. Could you just keep quiet?"

"Huh. So that’s how you like it."

Cautiously, she started to move away from him, feeling his legs against hers as he also slowly shifted. She slid gingerly along the carpet, hoping she was nowhere near his thigh.

Finally, on her feet, she brushed herself off and reached for the desk lamp. He was leaning against the wall, headphones on, squinting up at her. His long legs were stretched out in front.

"What are you doing sitting there in the dark?"

He cocked his head. "What are you doing walking into my darkened office at this hour?"

She gestured at the pile of folders spilled out on the floor. "I wanted to drop them off. I was in a hurry. I didn't know you'd be lying in wait."

"Hm, yeah. I gathered that from the puppy-like yelp as you hit the floor."

She held his gaze, silently questioning.

He shrugged. "I was hiding at first - Cuddy. Then…sleeping."

She nodded, eyebrows raised. "The twists and turns of the brilliant Gregory House."

He grunted as he awkwardly pushed and pulled himself to his feet. "You're the one who wanted to go out with me."

Great. Cameron turned and picked up the dropped patient files, slapping them down hard on his desk. "That was a mistake."

He limped over to his chair and sat down, leaning back. "I don't know. I got what I wanted."

She shook her head. Meeting his eye, she said with empty confidence, "I bet you didn't."

He nodded, a scornful smile appearing. "That's right. You know me better than I know myself. My instinct of love. I’m an eighth grade boy."

"Well. You got me back at work. You got to stop interviewing. You revealed my hidden agenda."

He nodded expectantly. "And? What was it I didn't get?"

She smiled. She slowly traced his outline with her eyes, taking in his scruffy demeanour and crumpled shirt, following the line of his arm down to his fingers resting on the desk. She lingered there for a moment before meeting his eye. "I don't know. I just doubt that you got what you really wanted."

House frowned.

She walked out, strangely feeling a little better.

end

[identity profile] enots.livejournal.com 2008-05-09 04:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Ahh, season 1. This brought me right back, so effortlessly. The last part really felt like something we should have seen, something that Cameron could have taken with her after the mess that was the date.

Loved it.

[identity profile] dominique012.livejournal.com 2008-05-12 11:07 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I loved S1 too, and the date was just packed with emotional possibilities and material! :) So glad you liked.
ext_24600: (Default)

[identity profile] marcasite.livejournal.com 2008-05-09 07:11 pm (UTC)(link)
This was so good. I miss this season and the awesomeness that it was. You did an excellent job of conveying her thoughts about "that" whole situation. I really liked ♥

[identity profile] dominique012.livejournal.com 2008-05-12 11:10 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you. The date just had so much in it...I guess one could write a million different angles of it! I'm really glad you liked. :)

[identity profile] one-2-3-4.livejournal.com 2008-05-09 09:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, really liked this. Especially the last three lines, they really sum up...well, everything about them, huh? Great job. :-)

[identity profile] dominique012.livejournal.com 2008-05-12 11:08 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you. Really happy you enjoyed and thought it worked. :D
ext_96320: Hallelujah | Paramore (Default)

[identity profile] wicked-4-tw.livejournal.com 2008-05-10 08:42 am (UTC)(link)
Beautiful. Just beautiful... I can picture it perfectly in my head :)
I miss House.. they're just doing re-runs here in Aus but new season starts next week I think so yay!

[identity profile] dominique012.livejournal.com 2008-05-12 11:12 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I'm so happy you enjoyed :D

I know...yay! :D

[identity profile] lookatmoiye7.livejournal.com 2008-05-10 11:22 am (UTC)(link)
Season one! Date! ♥

Oh, this is lovely. House and Cameron banter, and Cameron's thoughts and feelings and oh.

See? All that slaving away was totally worth it! I knew it would be! You totally rock, you know.

ILU.

[identity profile] dominique012.livejournal.com 2008-05-12 11:14 am (UTC)(link)
Yes *g* The only season I think I can really relate to!!

Yeah, it was painful, but I'm happy I actually finished it. On to the next! *g*

Thank you, sweet. ♥♥♥

[identity profile] mabe85.livejournal.com 2008-05-10 01:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, this is great! I love it very much.
The ending is just perfect. I love seeing how the 'doubt' shifts from Cameron to House.
Great work :)

[identity profile] dominique012.livejournal.com 2008-05-12 11:14 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you!! I'm so glad you liked. Thanks for reading! :)

[identity profile] housencam.livejournal.com 2008-05-12 01:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Season 1 fics never tire me.

I've decided that I can't get enough of episode AU stories. There's a bit of magic when another H/C lover rewrites history as a tag-a-long to a canon storyline.

My favorite part? Cameron walking in her apartment post-date and reflecting on the past few hours.

[identity profile] dominique012.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 11:15 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks! It's very satisfying to rewrite H/C history...

Thanks for reading :)

[identity profile] sharp2799.livejournal.com 2008-05-12 01:58 pm (UTC)(link)
This was wonderful. It seems so effortless and real, what would have fit into canon without a blink.

[identity profile] dominique012.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 11:17 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks so much! I'm so glad it worked for you, it was interesting writing her POV. Thanks for reading :D

[identity profile] mem-vermelha.livejournal.com 2008-05-12 04:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Sad! :(

I love season one, and the whole mess their date was, but I keep imagining her staring at the corsage later.. he bought her one, it says so much he did so, I wish that would have been enough to make her insist.

I loved her telling she doubted it was what he really wanted. I wish terribly she would also grab him and pin him against the wall for a long make out session, but the line is beautiful anyway.

Really well done.

[identity profile] dominique012.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 11:21 am (UTC)(link)
:) That whole situation felt so angst-ridden.

I agree with you about the corsage. He didn't have to do it. It really stuck on me!

I really felt like he wanted her, but just couldn't let himself do it. I would love to see/write that make out session!! Maybe I will...just for fun. I find it hard to imagine that scenario without it being terribly angsty!

Thank you. Really glad you enjoyed it.

[identity profile] mem-vermelha.livejournal.com 2008-05-16 02:03 am (UTC)(link)
Maybe I will...just for fun.

Please do!! *puppy eyes*

You can add some angst, you know? Before it.. or after even, if you promise a little happy twist to keep me from stabbing you for breaking my heart too much. lol

[identity profile] dominique012.livejournal.com 2008-05-16 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
Hee, oh, man! Like I need encouragement to start another fic!!! It's a can of worms! *ponders* I'm thinking...and I would definitely try for a hopeful/happy twist! :D

[identity profile] amy-thrace821.livejournal.com 2008-05-13 02:04 am (UTC)(link)
You know, at the time I was giggling in delight at the thought of a date between the two, but now looking back, I have to agree with Camerons thoughts that the whole thing was a bad idea. It was too soon and too not them. I like how you have her acting afterwards though, stronger. Great fic.

[identity profile] dominique012.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 11:23 am (UTC)(link)
Me too. It was so fun and then so wrong! I'm glad you liked this post-date Cameron. I didn't want to leave her all stepped on! I'm really happy you enjoyed. :)

[identity profile] tiflissa.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 01:21 am (UTC)(link)
LOL! That was great! Really lovely. *sigh* Season one seems so long ago now...

[identity profile] dominique012.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 11:24 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I'm happy you liked it. *sighs with you* I know...good times. :)

[identity profile] oursoliloquies.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 01:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Very lovely & very poetic- the fragmented feel of this really contributes to the atmosphere of the fic. I really enjoyed it. ♥

[identity profile] dominique012.livejournal.com 2008-05-16 04:01 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! Really happy you enjoyed it. :)