You do a fine job with the characters of Jack and Ianto. I like the idea of both men desiring the other, but failing to act upon it. The structure of the piece flows pretty smoothly, though the first paragraph was perhaps a little confusing (mind, I still got the effect you were aiming for).

You should definitely write more Jack/Ianto. We shippers know that there is no such thing as too much Janto fic! ;-)